Sadness Creeps IN

I knew someone that took their life last year, we shared family, loved ones that are hurting now in her absence. When I heard the news  I made this photo and wrote down a poem, you will find that at the bottom of this post.

I don’t get it, I can’t wrap my head around the level of sadness, loneliness, the utter feeling of defeat,  that there is no one to turn to, no one to understand and help makes sense of what is going on inside.

I do understand that there is something in every one, a level of strength. Some can go through anything without shedding a tear while others seem to lack the strength. Some how it was left out of their makeup, their composition when they were created. It’s no ones fault, I just wish there was a way we could know, know something that would alert us,  tell us, that someone we love feels this is the only answer.

I remember when she was born, I remember her mothers laugh, I would see her from time to time at family get togethers throughout the years, and  when I think of her gone, I can’t believe it, it hurts to imagine the pain. The pain she felt, the pain that is now left behind.  

Sadness creeps in

at what point does one let it take over So much

So much  that the weight of the rock on ones  shoulders crushes

That you chose to leave it behind

I cannot fathom the thoughts to bring a human to such despair

A fungi

Fungi in bloom.

As you can tell I don’t like the cold.

Shots like this do not happen for me in the cold. 

I could shoot some interesting things indoors but right now I am working on taking shots for my sister’s jewelry line and my camera is sort of broken.

I am accessing the archives for now.

The Inspiration

Inspiration.

I am testing and trying new things, trying new things and testing.

Someday I wish to have a shiny, slick neat blog like all those crisp, organized polished versions out there.

It will bring you things I see, feel, taste, things that inspire me

And  some day this will be the thing I do, this photography.

It will bring me great joy,  it will create the way for me to test and try new things and try new things and test…all the time.

Warmth

If I am thinking of the cold weather it tends to chill me to my bones.
Psyching myself out with thoughts of warm weather, summer time and the sun on my face seems to work, the thought of a happy place, this place, keeps the cold at bay, warming up my bones and psyche.