I have not posted in a little while; I have been shooting and working in Photoshop honing my skills, but in the last two weeks I have been pretty much brain fried.
You see we are short handed at work; I don’t mean down by one or two people short handed no, I am talking an entire team…ok well maybe not an entire team but after today there is one lone member left on one of the two teams that make up our department so yeah, almost an entire team. By the time I get home creative is gone, eyeballs’ are burning in sockets and brain is as I already said fried, fried, fried.
Its one thing to be “on” but when you’re “on, on” it’s mentally draining.
This picture makes me want to be in a peaceful place. I have been thinking more and more about the shore, the ocean, a beach but I have no shots to convey that image I have been conjuring up. I looked at this and it made me feel still.
Spring rains, severe thunderstorms and tornado warnings.
Soon after the constant warm weather rather than intermittent warm days.
The tulips are already poking their little green stems through the black mulch, and before you know it we will be sticking those sunflower seeds in the ground to see if I can replicate that mutant like stalk that grew last summer.
I knew someone that took their life last year, we shared family, loved ones that are hurting now in her absence. When I heard the news I made this photo and wrote down a poem, you will find that at the bottom of this post.
I don’t get it, I can’t wrap my head around the level of sadness, loneliness, the utter feeling of defeat, that there is no one to turn to, no one to understand and help makes sense of what is going on inside.
I do understand that there is something in every one, a level of strength. Some can go through anything without shedding a tear while others seem to lack the strength. Some how it was left out of their makeup, their composition when they were created. It’s no ones fault, I just wish there was a way we could know, know something that would alert us, tell us, that someone we love feels this is the only answer.
I remember when she was born, I remember her mothers laugh, I would see her from time to time at family get togethers throughout the years, and when I think of her gone, I can’t believe it, it hurts to imagine the pain. The pain she felt, the pain that is now left behind.
Sadness creeps in
at what point does one let it take over So much
So much that the weight of the rock on ones shoulders crushes
That you chose to leave it behind
I cannot fathom the thoughts to bring a human to such despair