Where I am…

This is my place, where I sit

Where I find peace

Where I am

This is my place, where I go in my mind

Where I am still

Where I am

This is my place, where I feel

Where warm heals

Where I am

This is my place, where my heart finds rhythm

Where energy fills

Where I am

This is my place, where I am

I Leave You With Still Beauty Tonight…

I have not posted in a little while; I have been shooting and working in Photoshop honing my skills, but in the last two weeks I have been pretty much brain fried.

You see we are short handed at work; I don’t mean down by one or two people short handed no, I am talking an entire team…ok well maybe not an entire team but after today there is one lone member left on one of the two teams that make up our department so yeah, almost an entire team. By the time I get home creative is gone, eyeballs’ are burning in sockets and brain is as I already said fried, fried, fried.

Its one thing to be “on” but when you’re “on, on” it’s mentally draining.

This picture makes me want to be in a peaceful place. I have been thinking more and more about the shore, the ocean, a beach but I have no shots to convey that image I have been conjuring up. I looked at this and it made me feel still.

I leave you with still beauty tonight.

In Dreams Message Received…

In dreams we see things different then in life, mystical, eartherial, sometimes chaotic, people who are not themselves but you know they are someone else, ya follow?

 But what do our dreams mean?

Do we give them value? Take them seriously? Do we dismiss them by providing a simple explanation? It was that pickle and chocolate you ate before going to bed; no I did not eat those two items before bed last night.

Sometimes we have overwhelming dreams in times of stress or when we feel out of control, dreaming of symbolic things that hunt us down in what is suppose to be a peaceful time of slumber.

I use to have a reoccurring dream. Standing on a beach a huge wave was approaching I could tell by its size I couldn’t out run it, this thing was going to cover the beach. Not just partially and get the people camped out closest to the shoreline with their chairs all wet but it was headed all the way up to the top where the snack bar was; I always woke up right as the wave was cresting and about to slam down. After my dad passed away the dream started again but this time I didn’t care; at the time I didn’t care about much of anything. In my dream I faced the wave and jumped under it; just like when you are riding waves trying to find that perfect one diving under the crappy stuff. I came up on the other side it was still like a lake, no waves, calm. I have never had that dream again. I came out of my funk; I faced that overwhelming feeling inside.

Last night I dreamt of a friend, the dream made me worry. I couldn’t get my friend out off my mind, was the universe sending me a message?

I believe it did, trust your instinct.

Whatta ya know Joe

I know they say when you reincarnate you come back, or are suppose to come back as a higher being. What I was told is that you don’t go backwards and becoming an animal is like going backwards.

After my dad passed, I use to think when a seagull would stand out in the group, the one that is not really scavenging the blankets, but that silly one that keeps hanging out staring and doing funny things was my dad and I would laugh. When I was told it’s likely that seagull is not your dad, ya know because of this reincarnating thing I had a feeling of disbelief.

No way, he has to have something to do with this.

 These are the things he would get a kick out of; he would make a comment or joke about the same lone goofy seagull later on and you realized he was sitting there watching that same lone goofy seagull.

One day at the beach that my dad always took us to I was out in the water looking back at the beach when a freak twister like wind swept across the beach, this mini twister was plucking umbrellas out of the ground like you would take candles out of a cake, one after another, colorful umbrellas airborne and sailing through the air like the fluffy stuff that dandelions turn in to and as it went down the beach heading up over the hill it disappeared as quick as it came. On the same day as I sat on the blanket; it was late afternoon I was looking out over the water and everyone was passed out sleeping in the sun when suddenly a massive amount of dragonflies were flying over the beach, so many that people were getting pelted by them, if you were laying down you could not sit up. I sat there watching them coming from the direction of the water not one hit me; it was amazing surrounded entirely by them as they migrated up over the hill to disappear as quickly as they came.

My dad was not the wind, not a dragonfly or even a goofy seagull, but I have to believe his spirit was there that day and when I remember it and my lips curl up on one side and then the other and that smile becomes laughing I have to believe that a spirit is there laughing with me.

The Ocean

The ocean does it for me.  Some people say how much they love the mountains, come fall up in the north east the leaf peepers flock further north to sit in the mountains and stare at leaves that really do look awesome because they have this hot fiery color, like flames.

 For me, at that time I hibernate, counting the days until I can sit in the hot sun, until I can stare out at the ocean, the vast endless horizon, hear the sound of crashing waves getting louder as the tide changes  laying  there soaking up the energy.

There is something about the smell of sunscreen and salt air, something about rinsing off at the end of the day in the ice cold showers that remove the salt and sand from your skin. 

Rinse off the day spent at the beach, all day spent at the beach.

Looking in the mirror staring back at  cheeks blazoned from the sun’s rays and beach hair, Oh beach hair, how I love beach hair. But there is something more, something about the way the beach feels, a feeling of home, center,  a calm, me.  A full and complete sense of freedom while sitting there on the beach.

Those moments, those few and far between moments for me that  now when  I can get to the beach to find it’s familiar calm. 

It’s the same feeling of finding “the one” that same sense of peace and calm.

When I moved south I first settled in a state that was land locked, it really did bother me, a sense of something missing.  Since, I have met “The one”, I moved and am no longer landlocked but the nearest ocean is at least 8 hours away, less sense of angst but at least I know the beach is now once again on my left,  just a bit of a drive way.  For now I have to rely on the smell of sunscreen while sitting at the pool helping to conjure up the memories of the ocean and the shots I took while I was up north this past summer. Certainly not enough were taken, but the few I have will have to be it for now.

The ocean does it for me.

Warmth

If I am thinking of the cold weather it tends to chill me to my bones.
Psyching myself out with thoughts of warm weather, summer time and the sun on my face seems to work, the thought of a happy place, this place, keeps the cold at bay, warming up my bones and psyche.