I made granola bars; no I tried to make granola bars.
They were more like nut clusters than bars.
It’s a result of my new ways, new habits, and the thing I have to do to wake this body up.
The doctors have finally or hopefully figured out the way to fix me and now I have to do my part.
In my quest to set things back on the right path I have had to adjust the things I eat, the things I cook with and things I drink too…yes for now I Laura C. cannot have a drink or shall I say should not have a drink.
What’s a fun loving Irish girl to do?
It’s quite frustrating.
I have to learn how to cook all over again and it’s killing me.
I feel like I can’t do a damn good thing in the kitchen anymore; what good is eating if the food tastes like crap? Sometimes I feel like the real goal behind all this is to make me hate food so much that I could care less about it; I will live on smoothies eating granola nut clusters for snacks just to save myself the hassle of figuring out how and what to make for my gazillionth meal of the day.
I want my marinades, my salts, my pastas; I want my porch party so I can drink.
I know it’s a lot of undoing of the bad and getting back to the good. After all, I use to do this with the greatest of ease. I was working out a total of 3 hours a day, I ran, I swam, I walked and lifted weights. I was eating the best fresh non processed foods I could and loving it all without any issues. That is until my body and mind came to a screeching halt refusing to go on like a damn pack mule.
This time I have the psychological battle; the fear of hitting a brick wall, the fear that once again I will have short lived success and my body will do what it pleases by defying all logic refusing to fall in line.
I can’t and I won’t let it win.
I have become the label reader in the grocery store; I have cleaned out the refined sugar in my pantry and replaced it with agave nectar. Now I use the refined sugar in a lemon facial scrub and I am feeling good about myself, once again.
I will not become the earthy crunchy granola girl, but I may be eating that earthy crunchy granola until this body learns it’s my way starting now.